my education is useless

As of right now, I am a sophomore in college. I am currently taking summer classes and found myself doing almost everything else but learning and doing the work assigned. I’ve found myself in this kind of attitude that’s not just the feeling of ‘I don’t want to do this’ or ‘I can do this tomorrow, on the deadline, an hour until.’ The attitude I have had is ‘what is this worth?’

When I was younger, I didn’t see myself in college. I was a smart kid but never saw myself doing anything more than high school. I didn’t see myself not getting to a high school graduation or just becoming a bum afterward like the usual expectation for kids who don’t go to college, but I just didn’t see it as an option for me. It didn’t interest me and still doesn’t interest me.

Again, I’m a smart kid. I was placed in advanced classes from elementary school and decided to take rigorous classes when the choice was given. I get the grade and do good in school with testing and benchmarks or whatever achievement I was expected to get. I was always on the path of going to college, getting that bachelor’s, master’s and maybe doctorate, and be successful. But is this really the only path to success?

By the time I got to high school, I noticed the difference in education I was getting to what my previous years of education had been. Now, teachers and their ability to teach was inconsistent and I the uneducated in a certain subject was supposed to be well-learned in a subject to test well and get that A+. Now there was homework given because it was supposed to help but would take up 3 hours finding the answer than learning the material. Now there were tests given that only tested our testing ability rather than our knowledge of a certain subject. This kind of schooling has led me to memorize and dump information just for test and grown bored of sitting in a classroom, just to self-educate myself later with the assigned homework.

Because of this education, it has led me to learn in a different manner. Instead of going to class and sitting through the lecture, I’ve learned to reason if it’s worth going to instead of catching up on other homework or instead teaching myself because hey high school has taught me to do so. Instead of reading all the assigned reading, I’ve learned to share notes with peers and skim passages for vocabulary words. Instead of actually caring for my education, I’ve learned to get by and hope all these credits get me somewhere. Honestly, I don’t even care what my major and career will be because my passion and this kind of learning is so boring and time-consuming.

I do get that now to do anything requires a college education to be taken seriously, but to get there, yes, is hard work, but I’d rather be doing other things that mean something to me than learning about mitochondria and the binomial function because it’s a requirement for my undergraduate than actually helping me learn and gain experience in my degree and career path. I’d rather be getting an education elsewhere and from a first-hand account from travelling and reading my own books and being fueled by curiosity than having to meet requirements. Maybe I won’t be a doctor this way, but I’d be doing things that matter to me and do not seem like a waste of my time and something I can actually learn and do things I actually want to do.

I didn’t see myself in college not because I couldn’t do it, but because I didn’t see it for me. This kind of education bores me and is a waste of my time. Maybe when I’m made official with a degree and cap and gown, I’ll think differently, but after years of careless educating and more in college, I don’t see the value anymore. I’d rather work odd jobs in different places and be content living small but doing something new than meeting an essay deadline. I don’t want success in making millions and becoming famous, I want success in being free with myself and my choices. Right now school has restricted me from doing more and being able to be happy.

There are some people that can go through this whole education system and come out fine and land that degree and job, and then are some people who are able to make it without a degree. Those people are able to survive because of a passion or because they can’t sit still in a classroom. I can’t sit still in a classroom and have a dead passion, but I’d still work hard to live than only get by.

I want to learn by a different system because this one with testing and useless requirements hasn’t benefitted much except to show me a standard idea of success and that there’s only one way towards it.